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Ok, this has gotta stop
May 20, 2016
And yet you haven't said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you? We'll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we'll go home. You can see how I lived before I met you. No, I'm Santa Claus! You mean while I'm sleeping in it? I am Singing Wind, Chief of the Martians. Professor, make a woman out of me. I'm Santa Claus! Soon enough.
We need rest
May 19, 2016
Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid. You mean it controls your actions? I find your lack of faith disturbing. The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands. Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers. No! Alderaan is peaceful. We have no weapons. You can't possibly… I can't get involved! I've got work to...
Ladies of the evening
May 18, 2016
Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that! There's only one reasonable course of action now: kill Flexo! Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood! Oh, all right, I am. But if anything happens to me, tell them I died robbing some old man. I saw you with those two "ladies of the evening" at Elzars. Explain that. We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised. Tell them I hate them. Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated poopers. One hundred dollars. OK, if everyone's finished...
I respect and admire Harold Zoid
May 17, 2016
Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar. Eeeee! Now say "nuclear wessels"! This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me! There, now he's trapped in a book I wrote: a crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors! I didn't ask for a completely reasonable excuse! I asked you to get busy! Anyone who laughs is a communist! I haven't felt much of anything since my guinea pig died. The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until...
How to make Impressive Designs
September 9, 2015
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