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No, I’m Santa Claus
May 28, 2016
Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar. Oh right. I forgot about the battle. I had more, but you go ahead. Tell her she looks thin. No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don't own!
Cause explosive decompression
May 28, 2016
Goodbye, cruel world. Goodbye, cruel lamp, lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel muslin and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords. Cruel though they may be… And I'd do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it. Okay, I like a challenge. Shut up and take my money! Are you crazy? I can't swallow that. Bite my shiny metal ass. It may comfort you to know that Fry's death took only fifteen seconds, yet the pain was so intense, that it felt to him like fifteen years. And it goes without saying,...
You risked your life
May 27, 2016
No, she'll probably make me do it. You mean while I'm sleeping in it? No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don't own! Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers? What are you hacking off? Is it my torso?! 'It is!' My precious torso! That's right, baby. I ain't your loverboy Flexo, the guy you love so much. You even love anyone pretending to be him! I wish! It's a nickel.
Breakfast Club
May 26, 2016
And then the battle's not so bad? Yeah, lots of people did. Oh, I don't have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain. I had more, but you go ahead. Tell her she looks thin. No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don't own! Okay, it's 500 dollars, you have no choice of carrier, the battery can't hold the charge and the reception isn't very… I'm a thing. Does anybody else feel jealous and...
Stop! Don’t shoot fire stick
May 25, 2016
It must be wonderful. Maybe I love you so much I love you no matter who you are pretending to be. Now Fry, it's been a few years since medical school, so remind me. Disemboweling in your species: fatal or non-fatal? Just once I'd like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn't bound and gagged. Yeah, and if you were the pope they'd be all, "Straighten your pope hat." And "Put on your good vestments." Or a guy who burns down a bar for the insurance money! Does anybody else feel jealous and aroused and worried? Bender, we're trying our...